I never knew how much love hurt until someone I loved died. Losing my grandmother was one of the hardest things to swallow in my life. I lost lots of relatives in my lifetime but none hit home like my grandmother.
Then came the year I lost my best friend and protege brian. Man did that take a toll on my life in those 2 days of mourning. Have you ever just been in a state where you wake up just to cry, and then fall asleep right after? I went threw that and it was so painful to endure. Well we all know death is there, but no one expects to lose there family.
I went threw a break up with my kids mother and it's been the hardest love to release to date. Of course I love her but at the same time we developed a family that was beautiful and we let it slip away. I missed my first Christmas with them and that was soo painful to bear. I know everything we go threw makes us stronger but some things break us regardless.
I don't think I will ever be over the fact mine is broken but I know it made me weak because a big part of me is missing. The reason I'm so hurt is because I know I never go back to a prior relationship and it's not a ego thing. I remember things that were said in the heat of an argument and it stays vivid in my minds eye. Love is a deadly emotion and it must be pure to withstand all the drama that comes it's way.
If I ever fall in love again it will be with my best friend who accepts me when I fall as in nan will do. The woman is the backbone of the family and if she is strong then the love can outlast any and all evil brought forward it. All I ask is that love stay true to me and give it to me real at all times.